What should be the relationship between a man and a woman, we learn as a child watching his parents. But this is not the only thing that shapes our further happy (or not) future. A father-daughter relationship is the foundation upon which her vision of herself and her role as a man in her life is built.
The daddy is the first man
It is he who shapes her vision of herself and her femininity. We are all social beings and only recognize ourselves in interaction with others. We understand what we are like through what our surroundings say about us, through the consequences of our actions. The social world is like a mirror in which we see our own reflection. The daughters of sensitive and affectionate fathers have higher self-esteem in the future than those who grew up with a cold and reserved parent. The former are more likely to build a relationship with a man who will care, protect, nurture and cherish. The latter will unconsciously choose tough and a few aggressive men, because caressing and caring will seem suspicious and undeserved to them.
What a father can
Daughters who were able to realize their beauty and femininity through fatherly love, in adulthood, have an idea of their limits and are happier in relationships. They can consciously say “You can’t do this to me” without feeling guilty. By interacting with the father, the girl has an understanding of how relationships with men are built, and in the future, this is how she will build them.
If the father talked to his daughter about her beauty, charm, uniqueness, admired her success, supported her when she failed, protected and cared for, these qualities are built into the personality of a woman. The girl is aware of what she is and what she deserves, has the right to be treated in this way. This principle is embedded in her vision of the world. Such a woman will never associate her life with an Alfonso or a tyrant: her father’s inner image will not allow her to do so.
The first flirtation, requests and gifts
According to Jung’s theory, a 3-5 year old girl starts competing with her mother for her father’s attention and love. At this age, she learns to “like” a man, to ask him for gifts, to win attention and to compete. All these qualities and skills she will then apply in her own life. The little woman inside her learns to interact with the world of men in the person of her father.